i was thinking today about how disproportioned and unbalanced my life looks without God. examples came to mind of how true this is and how many areas of my life it affects. my attitude totally changes when i’m carrying on by myself. i become more negative and self centered. without God’s wisdom i have no wisdom. i suck at making decisions, and making them without seeking God’s direction first always ends poorly. recently, as i’ve remembered all of the mistakes i’ve made, God brought me to today, and how with Him there are no mistakes. knowing that changes perspectives. things might not always go as expected, but He doesn’t make mistakes. knowing this creates a greater importance on making decisions with him, and how humble i need to be.
the best way i know to stay reminded of my complete dependence on him is to spend more time with him. it’s amazing how much i crave that time with him at first but distractions creep in and before you know it i go from an hour a day of quiet time, to 20 mins, to every other day, to once a week.
God really spoke to me tonight through matthew 7. i’ve been looking at all the problems other people have that affect me, when in reality i should be looking at my own crap and things i should change. i don’t find much to get happy about anymore and i think that’s because i’ve become less dependent on God, more focused on me, and that’s caused me to scramble to try and figure out what’s gone wrong and why my life sucks. then i blame other people’s bad attitude for my bad attitude and it’s an endless cycle until i realize that i need God. this place is hopeless without him, so why would my life be any different. i need him, and i need to *soro vei Jisu every day.
~*Don’t know what that means? Then look it up.
