~hebrews 13:19-21

God has been challenging me to reevaluate my relationship with him recently. he reminded me of a prideful moment i had a few years ago and one that sometimes shows up again. after watching the life of someone(s) in ministry who didn’t seem to consult God on a regular basis i thought to myself, “how can they possibly live their lives that way?” as arrogant as that sounded my heart at the time was so dependently desperate for God’s leading that i truly could not understand how someone could live moment to moment without the wise counsel of an almighty God.

here i am a few years later and my lazy, unfaithful spirit has been walking the same path as the one i wondered about back then. as a result i’ve been thinking about the message of Jesus. what’s beautiful about his story is the many layers to it. God directed his son to leave the perfection of heaven to come to a fallen imperfect world, live a life of poverty with less than perfect parents, and lead a bunch of disciples who had no idea what he was all about, only to be innocently tortured and murdered publicly.

what’s speaking to me about that story is the amount of trust and faith in God Jesus had to agree and follow God step by step throughout his life. God gave his son a promise and the tools to effectively carry out his calling on this earth. at the end of it all God would glorify his son Jesus and bring him back to heaven as the king of all kings sitting at God’s right hand. many times in Jesus life no one could have blamed him for embracing a small or significant amount of doubt because of the circumstances surrounding him. yet Jesus never doubted or stopped believing in God’s purpose, will and promise. hebrews says that Jesus trusted the father in life, death, and after death.

what a great example he has set for us. our messiah loved the father so much that no matter what arrows were thrown at him, he never relented in trusting God. he had every reason to get mad or frustrated but he didn’t. this is the example i have and we all have for how to handle life, and we should desire to have this same trust and faithfulness in our walk with God.

i believe at the core of each one of us (especially myself), it is a huge struggle to trust anyone, especially a God we can not see. through his son Jesus, God has given us the perfect example of how to live our lives in stride with him by trusting him through the day to day, to death and eventually our own resurrection. the promise he has set for those who believe is a life eternally with him, where there will no longer be the struggles and imperfections we see in our lives here. i’m grateful for the many layers to the story of jesus, and for the example he has set for me.

most of my joylessness stems from frustration. i too have been caught in a season of suffering that has lasted much longer than i could have ever hoped. i have realized that i’ve allowed this season to define who i am. that sucks because i really would rather God be the one defining who i am and refining who i am. the problem is that i’m tired of fighting for it. i don’t know how to change any part of this season and i’m left depending on God to just get me through. i’m extremely frustrated by the season and the fact that i see how much this season has changed me or even defined who i am. everyday is challenged by bitterness, shame, frustration, and sleep deprivation. i’m left wondering why i’ve allowed this situation to come this far, because in reality things are a lot worse for so many other people than they are for me. which is probably why i try to hide it.

i recently began studying joy from God’s word. God has been teaching me that:

• joy comes from reflecting upon all that God has done
• joy is choosing to acknowledge God’s blessings in my life
• joy is a reaction to God’s sovereignty
• joy is a choice to be made
• joy is a reaction

God has also been teaching me about how sin and the fallout of sin can rob me of my joy. the cycle of sin is hard to break and it is easy to be drawn in to when in a season of suffering. God has also been teaching me that to find joy i must find the freedom that comes from a life devoted to Christ. He’s also been teaching me other areas to get joy:

• surrendering to God’s will
• from worship
• from kindness

God has been showing me that too many times my joy comes from worldly or self-centered things. joy that comes from worldliness is empty and doesn’t last. Nehemiah said, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” he had pure joy that only comes from God. so how do i get that?

joy can only be pure when its foundation is in Christ. without reflecting on all that He has done for me, i will never have a solid foundation for joy to be built. pure joy comes from humility. i have to humble myself to God’s will and obey his word. without that i will never experience the lasting joy that only comes from him. God also keeps me humble by reminding me of all the things that he has done for me. too many times i compare what other people have and what i don’t, which leads to dissatisfaction. but God is calling me to look at all he’s done for ME personally and to let go of my own desires.

God has also been showing me areas i’ve compromised in. compromising doesn’t lead to pure joy. by compromising in obedience to him, my quiet times, and other daily chores, i am undermining pure joy. i believe that the amount of joy i get from a day parallels how much time i’m spending with God throughout the day. that is definitely true for me. i’ve allowed other things to get in the way of my time with him, which is compromise.

the final two points God has been teaching me are probably two of the most important. joy is not delusional but grounded. without having a life that’s grounded in Christ and without surrendering my desires to him, i begin to worship things that i think will bring me joy. if i had more money, if i had this car, if i was finished with school, if i lived closer to family, if my marriage looked like theirs, etc. all of those things begin to fog up the reality of where joy really comes from. God is also teaching me that my joy should not be isolated but should be shared. isolation is a joy killer. it’s like taking an entire case of coconut m & m’s and hiding them in your desk drawer and keeping them only for yourself. (yes, i did do that). joy is meant to be shared with others so that they too might experience it, just like the coconut m & m’s.

do you struggle with joy? what do you have to add?

anyways, i discovered a whole other side of God that i had never really thought of before when reading the Old Testament. In Isaiah 43:9-13 God is speaking, I’ll highlight my favorite part of this.

Then get the other nations out here and ready. Let’s see what they have to say about this, how they account for what’s happened. Let them present their expert witnesses and make their case; let them try to convince us what they say is true. “But you are my witnesses.” God’s Decree.
“You’re my handpicked servant. So that you’ll come to know and trust me, understand both that I am and who I am. Previous to me there was no such thing as a god, nor will there be after me. I, yes I, am God. I’m the only Savior there is. I spoke, I saved, I told you what existed long before these upstart gods appeared on the scene. And you know it, you’re my witnesses,
you’re the evidence.” God’s Decree. “Yes, I am God. I’ve always been God and I always will be God. No one can take anything from me. I make; who can unmake it?“

This passage when God is speaking pops out more than any other passage in the Old Testament, for me anyways. God is standing up in front of all his creation and telling us who he is, and in the process who we are. This is such an amazing passage of scripture that I had previously scanned over without even realizing what was there.

Reading that so many emotions should flood through our minds. It’s both humbling and freeing to read what God is saying here. There is only one God, and he has always been the one true God. We will never be able to undo that no matter how hard history, politics, or societies try. He says it himself, who can un-make what he has made? The second part of that is even more telling of the character of God and who he is. We are his servants who he has chosen. We were hand-picked by him because he loved us.

Maybe I had begun to view Jesus as the one filled with love in this whole relationship, and kept God as the mighty judge and ruler. I don’t know. Now I see again that it was he all along, it’s always been ONLY him. Jesus was a huge part in our deliverance, and nothing can take away from that. But God was the one who loved enough to send his Son to us. What a thought to allow that to flood over my heart. To put that passage in perspective and how it applies to our lives is even more transforming.

We have a God who loves us so much. We are loved so great by the one and only who always has been. We are the ones who screwed this all up by seeking other things, and everything BUT God. This passage has challenged me to look at my own life and ask where I am seeking other things besides God. Where is my hope? Where have I placed my allegiance? God says no one can take what’s his from him. We are his, and nobody can take us from him.

“Wake up from your sleep, Climb out of your coffins; Christ will show you the light! So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!  ¹⁷Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly.” that passage kind of goes out with a bang. i’m a firm believer that our society has entered a post-christian era. i saw the bumper sticker featured in the picture above during my drive home today. my first reaction was judgement, but God quickly showed me how important these days are, and how unimportant MY judgement is.

our world, if you haven’t noticed, has began to kick God out of every arena of society and aren’t doing so quietly. i won’t get into a long list of things, we all know where it’s happening. unfortunately, i don’t feel like myself, or other God-followers are doing much more than turning our heads or becoming silent in the name of political correctness.the word christian itself has become so watered down that it doesn’t even mean anything. i heard earlier this week that 70% of americans call themselves christians. does the world around us reflect that? i wish I could say that i prayed for the lady in that car after i saw her, i didn’t really know what else i could do even if i had the chance to speak with her.

ordinarily, after something like this i pray and move on with my day. this moment stuck with me though and reminded me of the passages i’ve studies this week in malachi and ephesians. God is pleading with his people to rebuke the sins they’ve embraced and come running to his open arms. they refuse, so his judgement comes upon them. yes, judgement. a word that isn’t heard a lot anymore. i wonder if we start looking at the lost world around us in the same way God looks at us, and consider his warning to us all, if we would act differently to those people who speak hate to his name.

i’ve been convicted because i am not praying for the lost around me. i’ve even notice the passion that comes out of these us vs. them moments isn’t filled with even a cracked heart for the lost, let alone a broken one. i feel like i’ve become isolated in my own world filled with prayers of self, and my own self problems and desires. i’ve become distracted with what’s going on around me, and not the bigger picture. eternity is coming, the winds have change are here. there’s something so much greater than all our problems and all our wants. a world is dying around us, and is facing an awful eternity apart from a God who loves them the same as you and me. God is calling us to love them and show them the way. not ignore them and cower on the sidelines. how much time do i spend praying for the lost world around me as opposed to my own stuff?

i’m so grateful for that bumper sticker, and how it’s echoing God’s reminder of what matters. as i read malachi, i was encouraged and even felt hope as i heard God speak of what he’s going to do, how he wants to save me and how he’ll judge my enemies. quickly though, my heart broke as i realized all of those people will not be with Christ in eternity. my heart broke for those israelites even though they were full of sin and evil. i couldn’t help but feel pain for them, because those same people are all around me today. those same people are staring at the same fate unless we go get them. we need a stronger understanding of the times we live in, because a lot will be expected from this generation of believers.

*that bumper sticker is referring to the not for profit Christian group, Focus On The Family.

^5-8Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

i was reading this passage this morning and God gave me a new perspective as far as how great and awesome our King Jesus is. i love how God knows how to reshape my focus and point out areas i need to work on.  i’ve always been blown away by Jesus and his selflessness of leaving heaven to come to this awful place. but God through this passage, showed me exactly what he expects out of me. he wants me to be humble toward him.

Jesus did everything the father had asked him to do through humility. he left his father’s side, and his whole life was filled with poverty and hard times. he was a walking blues album. the bible doesn’t say that he had any musical talent specifically but i won’t be surprised to get to heaven and find him singing about some of the hard times here on earth.

as i read the passage and saw Jesus’ example of how true humility looks in relationship to our God, i was blown away. it gave me a truer perspective as far as what my life should look like when i want to be sold out to God. the ramifications are heavy of praying such a prayer. i crave and desire for my life to be surrendered completely to God. Jesus wanted the same thing and left me a great example of how to do it and how to glorify God in doing so.

as a Christ follower, one of the core purposes of my life should be bringing glory to God through the life that he gave me. that can not even begin without a life humbly surrendered to God and his ways, not mine. when i get to the end of all this and look back on my life, i want to see a guy who woke up every day trying to live surrendered to God, and because of that, God received much glory.

one of the things i’ve always been struck by is Jesus and his humility, thanks to this passage i am reminded of the many ways his life reflected that.

Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.  ⁷ “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 

notice how God tells him twice in the same sentence to be strong and courageous? yikes, he must have been thinking things are about to get a little crazy. my favorite verse of the bible comes out of that because it’s God’s reminder to stand strong, he’s in control. God tells Joshua to stand strong and to not be discouraged, God would be with him always. if you’re reading the whole story, or atleast the first 6 chapters, it’s interesting to put yourself in that position. what i mean is, as you’re reading think about how you would be reacting to each situation joshua encounters. when i re-read this i kept trying to count the number of times i could see myself getting discouraged.

anyways, we read on that God promised joshua and the israelites a great inheritance. finally, a home, or a place they can call home and find unharassed freedom. i think i just made that word up but you know what i mean. so, God lays it out there, this great and awesome promise, but God, being God, lets them know that He’s not a genie lamp they can rub and He’ll blink and there’s this great and awesome thing he promised. Nope, God had a step-by-step plan for them to follow. One that would require faith and character, and to remember his promise from the beginning of the story.

first, they were to cross the jordan river which the bible says, the banks were filled this time of the year. that always reminds me of a scene from the movie into the wild. you know at the end when he’s ready to leave and stop being a hippie mountain man but he can’t because the river is swollen and there’s no way for him to cross? maybe i just ruined that part of the movie for you, believe me though you didn’t miss anything, he dies shortly after that. oops. well anyways that scene is what it reminds me of. the israelites had to walk up to the jordan and think, there’s no way we can cross this river. however, God told them He would dry up the river for them, but not until the soles of the bottom of their feet touched the water. oh, well that had to make them feel a little better. all they have to do is step into the raging water and trust that everything would be ok.

by remembering God’s promise from the beginning, they were able to step out in faith and carry God’s plan out. see, they’re nothing like me. so God is showing them that he desires their trust and he desires to be a part of this historical moment in their lives, and there’s much good for them along the way. it would be easy to see how difficult God’s plan was from the outside, but it really wasn’t and the only thing God really required of them was a little effort and trust. how awesome is that? pretty. flipping. awesome. the next part of the mission required 3 spies to sneak into jericho and thermometer the city (like that?) so that they had an idea of what to expect. after reading this i immediately decided it was a bad idea for several reasons. at first i thought, well that’s ok if those 3 are found out and caught only 3 people will die. but then i decided that there were greater risks than just the 3 getting caught. what if the 3 spies were followed back to camp and that led to the israelites destruction?

oh, that’s right, joshua 1:9. none of that happened and upon entering jericho, they were met with a helper who kept them safe while they also discovered that the city was pretty much counting the days until their own destruction. once again, something that seemed dicey or difficult on the outside wasn’t and reaped many blessings simply because they followed God in faith. even after finding the information they needed in jericho, they were still forced to hide in the hills for 3 days while men pursued them. God continues to show he’s not big on instant gratification. even after returning to camp with information of a city theirs for the taking, the next step of the plan was going to take 7 days to accomplish.

God wanted the israelites to march around a city, a whole city, 6 times in 6 days. on the 7th day God wanted them to march around the city 7 times. jericho was a major city during biblical times and although the bible doesn’t specifically say how big it was, history tells us it was a very modern and advance city for it’s time. today the population exceeds 20,000. either way it seems a walk around the city walls of jericho would have been exhausting, but God said 7 times in one day. at that point how were some of them not like, “really, God? i’m out” but they were faithful and because of that God was faithful in delivering the city to them easily.

God’s plan from the beginning required them to be strong (don’t be discouraged), brave (don’t fear), and have faith (God promised to be with them). by listening to God from the beginning and doing what he told them, they were able to carry out His plan and in return found freedom. this story says a lot about the character of God. God doesn’t like that short track. i think it’s because the short track doesn’t require much. think about how much worse this world would be if God was always giving us an easy way out. we would never learn discipline, there would be no wisdom or understanding, we would never learn to love or how to grow relationships with each other, we wouldn’t be faithful to anything because we wouldn’t understand what that is, and most importantly we wouldn’t know God or what it means to be desperate for him. all of the things God loves wouldn’t exist, and we wouldn’t be carrying out his work. i guess i could have just said that our relationship with God would be radically different and our lives would be boring and mundane and unpurposeful. (like that, two new words in one post.)

what’s awesome about God is that he doesn’t force us to follow him or his plan for our lives. he desires us to but he would never force his hand on us. his proof of a better life following him is all over the bible and he gives equal examples of what a life looks like a part from him. the reason why there’s so much suck in the world is that very reason, many people in the world don’t want to follow God and his plan even though there’s so much joy and purpose in doing so.

so, i told you earlier i would make a note of how many times in this story i might become discouraged or fearful. i got to 8 times before i stopped counting. hopefully that will change just as it probably did with the israelites during that 40 year march through the wilderness. anyways, this story reminds me that God’s way might be longer, but it’s filled with so much blessing, wisdom, goodness, love and favor for those willing to get their hands dirty and follow him.

“Nicodemus, who had first come to Jesus at night, came now in broad daylight carrying a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. They took Jesus’ body and, following the Jewish burial custom, wrapped it in linen with the spices. There was a garden near the place he was crucified, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been placed. So, because it was Sabbath preparation for the Jews and the tomb was convenient, they placed Jesus in it.”

Jesus is the ultimate example of humility but this last part here was a brand new example to me of how little Jesus required on this Earth, and another reminder of why that was so. when Jesus died he didn’t have a will or a family plot to be buried in, he died with no earthly possessions. that’s hard to grasp with an earthly mindset. we as earthly humans approach death with a lot of preparation. we write a will stating where all of our earthly treasures should go and we make arrangements for where we should be buried and buy a plot. Jesus had none of these things. of course he didn’t care about earthly possessions he was Jesus, but he didn’t even have a plot to be buried in (not that it mattered he wouldn’t be staying in it long anyways.) if someone we knew here on earth died that way we would consider it sad or tragic.

because this tomb was convenient, it says they placed him in it. the human nature in me feels sympathy and sadness for him because as a human we all feel out of respect, the dead should receive a proper burial. however, Jesus didn’t need anything. he knew what eternity and heaven were and what was waiting for him there. this life and world were temporary and he had a clear grasp on that. Jesus left everything to come to earth and save us. his goal on earth was to bring salvation, and to let others know that this world has nothing in comparison to what is waiting for us in eternity. he knew the great treasure in heaven, and also knew how short his time on earth was in comparison to eternity.

he left us a great example of what an eternal mindset should look like. remember when he said, “why do you worry about tommorrow, what you will eat or what you will wear?” he promised to provide those necessities for us, so what else is there to worry about? there is so much freedom in those words. our goals here should be the same as his were, love and salvation, while carrying around the great knowledge that this life is temporary. why get settled? when you go on vacation do you pack up the whole house and take it with you? neither did Jesus. ok, so the vacation metaphor probably wasn’t the best but you get it. this isn’t permanent and when we’re in heaven we’ll look back and see all the worry and striving for worldliness and think of how wasteful all those things were.

we have an eternity in heaven waiting for us, and it is so much bigger and greater than all this world has to give. how freeing is that thought? and how can we not love a God who gives us this. we aren’t chained to money, houses, cars, people, or things. they all suck in comparison to what is waiting for us. so, shouldn’t we be more concerned with spending our time loving those around us and sharing God’s hope for them? none of this was meant to be legalized into not having any nice things or possessions, but life gets really complicated the more we accumulate. it does for me anyways. i’m so thankful for Jesus and his life lived humbly, all he wanted from his time on earth was to share God’s love with those who were willing to accept it and point people to an eternal hope. how simplistic life will become the more i make that the desire of my heart.

i shouldn’t react as if this is breaking news, i knew this was coming i’ve just done an awesome job of shutting down that part of my brain. i never wanted to be that older guy in the room who was killing fun, i always wanted to be the guy having a good time. for some reason i never figured out you can be both. but here i am, 29 going on 30. about 3 years ago someone told me, “josh, when you get old never change, always be this weird 16ish/25 year old guy who doesn’t take life too seriously.” well, buddy, i hope i haven’t. although there is a large part of me that is desperately wanting to mature and gain the wisdom that only comes from having years behind you. i worry sometimes that i made the 20′s too much of a party. i really didn’t start preparing for adulthood until it was probably almost too late.

there was a lot that i got to do in my 20′s that i never could have imagined. i got married, traveled all over the country, lived two months on an island, had adventures, found solid christian friends, found the jesus that blows lives up, saw people get saved, became an uncle 4 times, moved out (sorta), saw a whale swim within a few feet of the boat i was on in the pacific northwest and spray its blowhole all over me while making said boat look frail and fragile, watched a storm blow in out in the middle of the ocean, moved out of that small town, kayaked in the rough ocean, saw a shark in the wild, outran a coyote or whatever that was, ran from the cops through miles of corn fields, drove a mustang way too fast on a dirt road almost drifting off a 100 foot cliff, shared a room for a summer with a spider big enough to creak the floor when it walked on it,  had my grandpa as my bestman in my wedding, watch somebody get shot, get a tattoo, etc.

through all of that i experienced God in ways never imaginable. my faith grew in many ways. i recognize that none of those things are materialistic and it shows me how God truly doesn’t give a rip about earthly possessions. it also shows me that he stamps his work and faithfulness in our hearts when we’re taking chances and living life.

anyways, i started reading all of the books i had read when i was a kid that i loved. the call of the wild, moby dick, the bears of blue river. all of them have a theme of adventure. one thing all of the characters in those books have in common is that they went out and lived life. they faced hard times and good times, but they were out there in the middle of the adventure. which has me really thinking about my legacy. i don’t want to be an old man in a small town with bad breath drinking coffee one day and mulling over regrets and all the things i didn’t do. i don’t want to be standing before God’s thrown in heaven trying to answer, “so, you said you wanted an adventure, what happened?” i want to live a life of adventure, even if it means dying for it.it’s better to have died living than to live a life already dead.

i’m realizing slowly that the 20′s aren’t to be mourned, and turning 30 doesn’t need punched in the mouth. all of that was preparation, the adventure is just beginning. God accomplished so much in those 10 awkward years, i can’t imagine what i will be able to look back on after these ten are over. i always worried that when i got married i traded away the adventure for a life of domestication. i’m finding out that in some ways that’s true, but in most ways it just means the adventure has changed, and has a partner. life is less about me and is more about us, leaving all of the adventure ours, not mine. i follow jimmy buffett’s blog and in many ways i’m still jealous of the life he lives. but i’m beginning to see that there’s adventures he’s missed out on that i’m getting to live.

it shows me that there’s two types of adventure. one is a life lived in complete surrender to the dreams of our Father who created us and his adventure. the second is a life of our choosing, filled with decisions and plans all built on a sand that are washed away by the tide, leaving us looking back at a life lived emptily. i’ll take the first one.

as i made the short trip over to the park, i began to think of what exactly it was i expected to do. after all, i had a bad foot and there weren’t many roads i could drive on and take pictures. i resigned to the fact that i really didn’t have a plan and at this point didn’t care, i just needed to get out of the house and this time would be useful regardless of what it consisted of. as i arrived at the park, i began to notice how dark and cold this place felt, almost far away and foreign. that feeling of being somewhere distant from where i live was what always kept me coming back to this place. the ability to walk out into solid wilderness only a few miles from my home, combined with the vast wildlife and geography of the place made it feel isolated, and here i felt free.

i often would come here to escape the hustle and bustle of the traffic and people that would burn me out, and also for the adventure of being outdoors and mostly alone. not many people come here, there aren’t any asphalt or gravel trails leading you by human made structures or lakes, it’s pure wilderness with trails made by animals and natural trails created by the glaciers deposits. although there are some mowed trails in the summer, for the most part this place feels as close to the wild as you can find around here.

i stepped out of my car and felt the cold, dry chill of january, along with the increasing snow fall. i had only expected to walk over to a nearby bench and sit down and take it all in from the parking area, but something was leading me further. i looked around and decided to just take a look around, after all i had come this far. i hobbled up the road and looked out to where the trails begin. the feeling of being in the middle of nowhere on a snowy winter day was almost overwhelming, and that possibility was out there in front of me. it was irresistible and the feeling was unrelenting. i had waited months for this opportunity, but the months were busy and the chances few to get here, but now i had unexpectedly stumbled upon one.

i decided to grab a walking stick off a nearby tree, and started walking out into the snow prairie. the ground was covered by several inches of snow. it was hard and diveted by all the animals who left tracks here before me. it made walking on a bad foot tougher than i thought it would. the further i went the more the feeling of being surrounded by pure isolation began to grip my mind, it’s an oddly amazing feeling.

i walked about a quarter of a mile into the woods before i decided to take a break. i found a nearby log and sat down. the snow here was pure and untouched with very few footprints marking the paths. what ground that was exposed was covered by an autumn marsh plant, the name of which i don’t know, but it’s red hue against the white background lit up the surrounding snow. intermingled was tall prairie grass creating a golden and auburn look leftover by fall. i listened hoping to hear an owl, or maybe one of the many wild turkeys who live here, or even a coyote. all i heard was the wind and dry air, the sound of winter.

i considered whether or not to turn back, already coming farther than i probably should, and staying longer than i probably should. a feeling began to come over me that i was being watched. with the mighty kames in the distance i considered walking further, but instead decided to make a circle around the frozen bog and make my way back to the car. out here you’re completely vulnerable to nature, you’re a guest in the home of wild things. i stopped to take it all in before leaving when i heard a strange noise echoing from the woods. it was offsetting to hear the high, off key screech of something that seemed to be pretty close to where i was. i couldn’t see anything moving in the surrounding tree line, so i scurried toward it to get out of the open visibility of my position.

as i hiked up the hillside toward the woods, i heard it again. past experience told me it could be one of the wild turkeys i had hoped to see, but this almost sounded like a coyote. at this point my worries began to take over and the thought of it being a coyote won. it wasn’t fear convicting me yet but walking on a bad foot and only having a flimsy walking stick convinced me it was time to leave. i knew i was probably a half mile away from the car and would have to make my way through the same hard terrain to get there, this was when i really began hoping it was only a bird of some sort and not a coyote. as i made my way back down the long trail that led me in here, i looked back a couple of times as i safely left the bog and surrounding woods.

seeing that nothing was following me, i stopped briefly to listen. i heard nothing unusual, only the dry winter breeze. my pace slowed and i began to enjoy what was left of the surrounding countryside. as i approached my car, i thought about the next time i would come, and hopefully the conditions would be much the same as this day, and that i would hopefully remember to bring a knife.

when snow started falling last weekend i couldn’t help but wonder where it all came from so fast. it felt like summer had just ended and i still should be mowing the grass and spending time outside doing yard work, not shoveling snow. summer is gone and now fall too. even football season is coming to an end. i haven’t missed any of these seasons, i’ve been in the middle of it all, so how did i miss it? life is moving swiftly by, yet i’m not. it’s like being caught in a current and being swept out to sea, but still feeling like i’m standing on the shoreline. whoo, that’s deep.

then i start thinking about Christ’s birth, death, and resurrection, and God begins transforming my idea of Christmas. it’s nothing new, i think a lot of people struggle with the true meaning of christmas and all of that cliche’ crap. this year has been different for me. it’s been less about the show, and more about the stripped down simplicity of what it should be. while all of this other stuff is fun, i think i let it become the focus year after year and i’ve been clinging to it. what’s hollow is often a poor base for anything, that’s why Christmas is crumbling for me and being rebuilt by Christ.

it’s amazing how He has been doing this in my life in significant ways. He’s stripped me down in order for me to lose the old, self-made human ideas of things. my faith and what i believe has taken a significant hit by God and his ruining hand. as i’ve began growing into a faith system based on His truth and stepped out of my box, God has been revealing true meaning in a lot of things. as a result my priorities have changed.

i don’t have to move a 1,000 miles away to make a significant impact for His kingdom, i can do that here in my own home. for a long time i never thought about my legacy, and what i’m leaving behind (or putting away in eternity). now it dominates my daily routine. i never craved maturity and wisdom until God began stripping away my ideas of what those were, and replacing them with what He has made them to be. it’s been a slow, grueling process. in a lot of ways i’m only in the beginning steps of the change He’s bringing. everyday is a different struggle and a fight against myself, man, and the enemy.

one thing i love about the story of christ’s birth is the many messages in it. one of them being the lack of faith by so many that the messiah would actually be born to save them, us. so many people weren’t ready for the coming Savior. but it only took a handful of people to faithfully follow God and to carry out His sovereign plan. christ came, but they weren’t ready. the birth of christ and the circumstances surrounding it carries a prophetic message for us.

i wasn’t alive during that time, so it’s easy for me to ask questions and wonder how they weren’t ready, or why they didn’t believe in the coming Lord even though hundreds of years of scripture foretold it. it’s easy to ask those things. but the message lost in that is for us too. how are we not ready? why aren’t we looking for the coming Savior? the scriptures have foretold it. God’s word says it’s going to happen yet we aren’t living our lives surrendered to that truth.

his word says He will come like a thief in the night. do we believe that? why are we/i not doing anything about that? what God is teaching me this Christmas is to be ready. i have a lot i need to change, mainly i need to start living like He will return at any moment. i need to allow that truth to transform my life. there’s so much at stake. i’ve noticed that i’ve become really frustrated lately. always getting frustrated over stupid, dumb ignorant things. i know that if i got a little more sleep at night rather than staying up and watching jimmy fallon i wouldn’t be so frustrated throughout the day and as a result, wouldn’t look like a huge hypocritical jack wagon to everyone around me.

i know that if i spent more time in prayer and with God i wouldn’t be so lost when times get tough and i really could use an encouraging word. if i spent more time reading the bible and less time on facebook, i wouldn’t feel so unattached from God’s presence. i know that the greatest impact i can make on those around me and for God’s kingdom is to obey Him. all of these lessons God is teaching me because i’m not so focused on all the crap, all the distractions of the holiday season. i pray that i would be more open to it. it’s amazing how different this Christmas is proving to be for me. let it always be different, and never the same.